What is growing up?  Do we define maturity as being able to go to school and pay bills or is maturity more like my mother- who after her father left, helped my grandmother take care of four children without being afforded the opportunity to go to college and define herself.  We think we are mature because we are in school and somewhat dependent for our own lives, yet we are not dependent for anyone else’s.  I guess maturity changes with the times, but if that’s so- we must have it easy.  While my parents are not quitting their jobs, I understand the uncertainty of such an event.  This is the time in our lives where we must become financially stable on our own- pay our own bills, etc. and it’s scary to think you might not have your parents to fall back on.  This is a feeling I understand well.  But while my mother may not be able to afford tuition, she always affords me the assurance that nothing is more important than my happiness.  Parent’s can be wonderful that way, if you are blessed (like I am) to have at least one on your side.

While I do not have a credit card (as you can see, Julia, that would be suicidal), I too think I have managed pretty well for myself.  However, I do see myself as lucky for being able to understand and recognize the value of a dollar, something I attribute solely to my parents (and something seriously lacking in the student body of NYU).  If growing up means outgrowing the peter pan syndrome in favor of these things we associate with maturity  than I guess we just have to say goodbye to never never land.

I too understand the anxiety of growing up and sometimes I wish to be younger again, carefree and taken care of.  Also, your parents moving to Hawaii must be tough on you- having grown up somewhere completely different and not being able to have a home there anymore.  I can imagine that would be quite difficult.  And I’m sorry you will not be able to be with them on your birthday… however, you can ALWAYS have thanksgiving with me as my mom’s birthday is the 24th and my sister’s is the 28th (clearly you would fit right in) and thanksgiving with my family is the best- hot tub and pie included- just ask will (that is if you get tired of boys aka andrew).  As for your 21st birthday (lucky girl mine’s so far away), how much of it are you going to remember anyway??? hahaha… just kidding (but seriously).  As for your brother, I attribute that to men being… well men.  They can be so clueless and he probably didn’t know what he was actually saying.  My brother wrote an entire book in school as a child entitled, “Monsters ate my sister’s brains” in which he hypothesized that I had been a brainless idiot for most of my life.  However, about the growing up part (us youngest children) never fully have to.  We’re lucky that way, even when we’re 40 we will still be the baby- in that way, I guess we are the lost boys.

soundslikenyc:

Just found out that my parents are going to hawaii for Thanksgiving. They didn’t even ask me if I cared. They assumed I could just spend it with Andrew’s family. Which is ok, is family is great, but this will be the first thanksgiving I haven’t spend at home and with family. In addition it will be my 21st birthday. It would have been nice to have them there.

My brother says hes going to spend Thanksgiving at a friends house. I invited him here to NYC, askd him to spend it with my and Andrew’s family, but he said “I am part of Rory’s family”. as though he wasn’t part of my family first.

I get the feeling, a lot, that we are growing up too fast. My parents are selling their house, moving thousands of miles into the middle of the pacific  ocean. I am barley even half way through college. If after school, if I can’t find a job, I will have no where to go. No home in Ohio anymore. No family for back up while I job hunt. I can’t go to hawaii and try to find employment on the east coast.

My parents will be quitting their jobs. due to non-compete clauses, they will not be allowed to work. They will have no spare money to financially support me past my tuition and undergrad.

I know i’ve been lucky so far, they paid for my school and I am debt free. but I am not working 15 hours a week at internships and full load of classes to maintain a GPA of 3.75 or above to have my whole family move away from me. To shove me off on someone else’s family just because it is convenient and they are kind.

I pay rent, utilities, manage my own finances, have two credit cards, work internships, maintain friendships and a relationship and take care of a pet. I am for all purposes independent. But i’m still only 20. I am still only a young adult. A bit like peter pan, I am not ready to fully grow up. Frankl, i dont think I should have to.